Updateness..

I think I might be headed into a stressful phase soon, but.. I don’t know. I’m fine for now.

I’ve had many reasons to blog here since last time I did, and several times
thought to myself “I need to write about this..” But of course didn’t.
Cause I suck, pwah.

Well, it’s something I do for myself, so it’s my loss I suppose.

School is being annoying at the moment. We have a lottt of stuff going
on all of a sudden, and some of it I’m not all that great at. I need to
re-write this journalism assigment.. Ugh.. When will I EVER be bothered
with that?
I’m almost worried about getting into this school next year if my marks
are lower than they were at last half term.. Meh. Hopefully my PE marks
will be better, cause I’m really making an effort now that I’ve moved into the
gym, like.. That isn’t with the others. We’re just 5-6 people in there, actually
doing something. What the others are doing can barely be called exercise.. e.e

I really do want to be more fit, and.. I really do want to improve my dancing
skills. And start tricking.. And oh so many more things I wish I could be
amazing at. It’s a lot about “Oh, when me and Diana move in together,
I’ll do this and that.” So hoepfully I actually will. I fear I won’t. I’ll have her
there to whip me to it though, I’m sure. She’s gonna be part of it.

Today was very relaxed, at least for the time I’ve been home. Murrrrhh<3

Been reading this book that is for English class, and I really love it.
Read a little more than a 100 pages, there’s like 200 left so ja..
And I’ll probably read it a second time, just to be sure I learn the
words I don’t already know.

It’s written quite beautifully.. “Fire” it’s called.. I’ll make sure to
read the second book in the series when I’m done with the project.
“Graceling.” Apparently a third one is being written, sike~

I’d like to get into reading again, I’ve missed it.

I have a lotttt of things I need to get into again though.. My poor guitar..
I’m sorry Le Zacky, I truly am.

Going to a concert thing on Saturday. Several new and old famous
Norwegian artists. I mainly want to see Quick, an amazing dance crew.
Veeeery excited about seeing them. Also A1 is going to be there..
Everyone has been a fan of them at some point, so yeah. Seeing them
is sort a life acchievement I should be getting, being the age I am.

That’ll be it.. I’ll TRY to remember this thing more.. Or wel.. I remember
it very well, I just for some reason don’t use it.. Even when I tell myself
I need to.

Murp.
-Emmy

I also need to write out more about Aletsic/Cinom soon. ;3

New Years Eve

I’ve been terrible at this. I’ve thought about writing here so many times, but.. I just don’t.
I really want to write here, so that I can look back on my psychosis and mind..

A couple of minutes ago my mum went back upstairs. It’s now almost 4am. She’s been coming downstairs to get herself a new drink then it’s back upstairs. We’d also talk a little bit every time.. I could notice the stages of how she is when “under the influence”. First she gets really political and all ready for a fight.
Then she might start rambling a bit at some point, and is less open to whatever I have to say, it’s probably just not going in.
Then she usually gets more agressive and annoying and I’ll just ignore her if that ever happens, which it rarely does.. It’s only been once that I can really remember.

Tonight though, she got into this really depressed state I think. I know she’s had a lot of problems, and she.. Should know; that so have/do I.

A couple of years back, her mother snapped at her. Pretty much told her, that her (my mum) and her brother Johnny, were failures. Y’know, complaining that they weren’t as good as Gunn and Roger. The only comfort my mother got was that it wasn’t just her who had failed, it was Johnny too..

Pssh. I remember when mum told me about that a while back. I was really pissed actually, cause I never knew. My mum kept away from her for quite a while because of that, which can be hard cause we live quite close.

I have an odd family really, we’re so.. Torn.

And then something happened that made me tear up. I was already, cause I can’t see people crying; i can’t handle it.
She mentioned my dad. I don’t see him much, but it usually doesn’t bother me either, but.. Tonight it just for some reason seemed to affect me a lot. In 2010 I’ve seen him 4 times. 2 times I was at his place. Then I was barely there, staying over the night when I went to the Avenged Sevenfold concert in Oslo. I also had a friend with me then. The last time was not too long ago, when he was in Bergen for a day. We ate out, me, him and my best friend. Didn’t talk much.

I keep realizing that.. I don’t know him. I know what he’s like towards me and all, but.. Do I really know him? I sometimes feel like I really don’t, especially since his new wife is one of the few people a really dislike here in this world. Like… Is it just me? Am I just being paranoid about the way she looks at me, talks to me? Every time I start to come around and think she’s okay, she does something to piss me off. Mainly embarass me or just general disrespect.

More so than me not knowing him.. He doesn’t know one fucking thing about me, and SHE definitely doesn’t. She can go jump off a bridge. Fuck you Lise.

Yeahhrrr… vent vent vent. It’s good to vent.

 

I had some good moments today though. We don’t see much firework here, but I got to see my now favourite part of it.. Just seeing the flashes of light in the nightsky was more than enough. I love when small things can bring such joy.

I’m probably going to whine some more to myself on how I basically have no family; and that on Monday.. I’m going back to my apartment where I’m awfully alone sharing walls with 3 strangers.

-Cinom

Oh, I’ll have to write to you gives about Cinom soon..
She’s.. The other side.

Where/what is love?

This is something I’ve been thinking about doing, fooor.. Quite a while. I just
needed to find the time.

“Where is love when I’m in need for love
I know that I must be patient
But how do I know when it’s real
What is love when I have never loved
or felt loves touch before
I wished upon a star so far
To find true love and who you are”

“Where/what is love” by Sha Sha Jones and Mike Kalombo.

This just happens to fit very much to this post.. I did promise a serious
blog, didn’t I?

This won’t be just a blog about me loving someone, it’s me not
sure what’s up with my emotions, and.. What is really love?
Cause.. I really want to love someone, probably just as much as I
want to be loved. I haven’t had a relationship like the ones I’ve pictured
in my head, oh so many times..

_______________________________________________________

Let’s just call him “J”. The letter J has haunted me through my life..
Best friends, crushes, heroes.. Yeah. This guy is no different obviously.

The thing is, I know I had a crush on him, but now I don’t really know.
I can’t find any reason to why I think about him as much as I do, I don’t
really know him all that well.. There’s mainly one thing that’s confusing
me about it all.
It’s whenever I meet him.
I get this weird tingle in my stomach. I’ve never had that happen to me
before.. It’s happened the last two times I’ve met him, first time I was
really WTF’ed. Haha..

I honestly don’t want a relationship with him, we’re not.. On the same level,
in different ways. I think we could be good for eachother in some ways..
But.. I don’t know.
The part where we’re the most different isss.. Well, I’m a virgin. He’s basically
an addict. Cha.

Now.. We met through Juvente. It’s an organization against drugs and alcohol
etc. They also want world peace and all that awesome stuff.. Nice, ja?
We had friends in common, and they were the ones to bring him there..
He used to be a junkie, and do all sorts of stuff, soo I’m so glad that he’s gotten
out of that.. Cause he’s a strong person, and a great friend.
I don’t really know him as good as I’d like to, but we’re getting there. I just
want him as a friend really.. This summer at Experience(Juvente summer camp)
we spent a whole week at the same place, and often together.
We’ve had our.. moments.

Especially the time I developed my crush on him. It was like.. the third time
meeting him, and it was at Juvente Valentines weekend. Appropriate, ja?
He pretty much said it straight out that he found me interesting….
NEVER had that happen to me before, ha.. Probably why I was so intimidated
and confused.. Cause wooow have I been confused because of him, oh so many
times.
I always come back to this thing though.. Whatever he’s done with me, he
does with everyone.. Like.. We friend kiss, but I also to that with other people,
so ja.. We’ve had some embraces I guess, but.. Yeah. I just always feel like it
means more to me than him.

My current thing will just be.. getting to know him. I don’t want to loose him as
a friend.. And no, he doesn’t know how I feel about this whole thing.

Considering the friendship we have, we might actually end up talking about it.
He’s the kinda guy that is open about most things.

I find myself looking for him, whenever I’m somewhere that he might be..
Even if it’s just a hug, a hello and a kiss.. It makes me feel..
WELL ODD. I DON’T KNOW. LOLOLOLOL.

I spazzed.

So much for my seriousnesssss.. Oh well.. This is just some of my “troubles”.
I might write more about me and him later, or.. An update if things should
develop. o-o

I’ll be going to bed soooon… Yeah.
G’night world.

-Emmy

Current Situation

I need to just blabber about how starting school again has been..

So, firstly.. The school is amazing. Sometimes it’s hard to believe it’s
a public school, and not a private one. It just looks so damn cool!
It’s well high tech, maybe a bit too much even.. Doors that open when you
come near, lights automatically turn on when you enter the room..

I feel so futuristic when I’m there. xD

I got contact with people right away actually, but I’ve come to realise
that I don’t really like them. xD Well.. One of them at least.
I think she’s alright really, but I have a feeling she’s not being herself..
Oh, and she checks up on her make up in the school bathrooms.. Ugh.
Oh, and of course there’s a visible line between the colour of her face
and her neck. Lovely.

BUT. The last two days I’ve had more contact with this other girl, who
luckily is in my class.. And she’s sooo much like me. We’re like.. THE
weirdoes at school now.
At least that’s how I feel. I don’t see anyone else walking around talking
about how manly they are..
She also has wicked style. 8]

Reminds me, I’m getting a haircut tomorrow, finallyyy. Got thing we
quit school early tomorrow. Mwahahaha.. Kekeke. Something like that.

Next thing on the listtt.. My apartmenttt, ja.
It’s.. Okay. I guess. xD I don’t talk to the girls I live with much, but
I have been going out some evenings, and so have they.. Of course, I
mean, they’re 19..
My room has been more personalised and funky now, so I’m doing well
in here. I do stay in my room mostly if I’m home, another reason why
we don’t speak much.

I could use some curtains though.. I’m basically flashing the neighbours
like.. 3-4 times a day.

Soouuuu… Since it’s a brand new school that I go to, it had it’s official opening
yesterday. It was all fancy smancy.
Only thing we’ve been doing since we started a week ago, is get to know
each other, and practice for whatever we were doing for the opening.

I was in the music group (of course), and sang with two other girls.. One of
those being miss fake-face-who-has-unmatching-foundation. 8D
I feel so mean. Oh well.
Anywayyys.. They both are really good singers though, especially the not
so tangerine one.
We sang our own little version of “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz. We had a lot
of fun making the arrangments actually, and we were happy with the results..
No idea how it sounded on stage though, so I hope to see the recordings soon. xD

Righttttttt.. Nothing more to add I think..
I’ll have to write something a little less boring, and a bit more.. Thoughtful next time, ja?

We’ll see.

-Emmy

When things get tough.

I’ve always had a “zen” thing about me. When world goes to shit,
I’m just sitting there. Unaffected.

Lately there’s so many things I should be stressed about, but I don’t allow
myself to become stressed by it.. Reasons for that is that I handle stress,
really really badly. It’s almost like some sort of disorder.
Honestly, being confronted when I’m having a stress related downtime,
I’ll start crying at the stupidest things. I really hate it.
During my final exams, I was telling my mum I was being emotianal because
of “that time of the month”, just so I had an excuse to cry the whole time we
worked on everything.

I fucking hate when that stuff happens. xD

Now I’m having a really calm period though, which I am soo thankful for.

I am moving out tomorrow.. And school starts Wednesday. Yayyy… Following
the Norwegian school system kids my age start a whole new school this fall. I’m
going to study “Media & Communication” for the next three years.
So yeah.. Whole new school, with no people that I know. And I’m moving in
with three girls that I’ve never met before, and they’re like 3 years older than
me. I did meet two of them today though..

We went to check out my room, cause I haven’t even seen the place until today,
and two of them were there.
Now here’s the fun part. My room has no furniture…
The guy who I’m renting of has been redecorating the place, and he probably
only just got them walls finished yesterday. No wonder he’s been making up
excuse for why we couldn’t come over and see the place. Oh well, he’s gonna
set stuff up tomorrow before we get there.

afsjnlifuahfg This became more boring than I intended it too.. And I’ll try to
actually use this thing. I have a feeling I might need it the following months.

-Emmy

Aletsic Neo?

I figured I’d start off this blog by explaining “Aletsic Neo”. I think there’s like 3 people I know personally, that has any idea what it is. xD

I usually have “Aletsic” as my username everywhere.

Now.. What it actually i, is the name of my alter ego. Sort of.
Me and my best friend at the time, had these characters.. Or I think she did before me, but I really wanted one to make personal.
Not only did we have characters, they were more like.. Animals.

This is where it starts getting nerdy, so be prepared<3

Me and her met over a chatting website, and our “avatars” on there were a little thing called “furries”… (Half human, half animal/Or animals with human behaviour.]
Yes, I was a furry, and a part of me might always be. xD
Sooo.. It started out like that, but this became very much a personality. There
are soo many versions of Aletsic, or as I mainly use “Alets”.
Human, original, anthro.. Yeah.
So, originally she’s an Ermine. A pink and green ermine.. :]

Yeah yeah, funky I know. xD If you don’t know what an ermine is, it’s like..
A ferret.. Weasel.. Ish thing. (It’s also called a “stoat” I think..?)
“Mustela Erminea” is the latin name. Mustela backwards is Aletsum.

And there’s that..

Neo, because I love the word Neo.. And neon colours. 8]

Here’s some examples on Alets:
Human Alets

Aletsic Human by ~DifferentArtist on deviantART
Alets & Ottah (My then friend’s character)

Support by ~DifferentArtist on deviantART

Done by Jenni/Ottah

Done by Jenni/Ottah

Avatar Alets.

Signature

YEAHHHHH.
That’ll work.

Peace & Love
-Alets

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